July 1st 2006

Bin Laden
Bin laden released another audiotape, the second one in only week. According to experts Bin Laden is releasing audiotapes and not videotapes because his face looks too wrinkly in Hi-Def TV.

Elephant
Officials at the Los Angeles Zoo are under investigation because they did not immediately treat an apparently ill elephant the night before it died. I didn’t know FEMA has zookeepers among their staff.

Officials at the Los Angeles Zoo are under investigation because they did not immediately treat an apparently ill elephant the night before it died. The zookeepers denied any responsibilities and claimed they sent the turtle to give the elephant CPR

Hasselhoff
Former Baywatch star David Hasselhoff is recovering after undergoing surgery for an injury he suffered during a shaving accident. According to close friends he had a problem with the lawnmower when he was shaving his chest.