September 25th 2006

UN general Assembly
After the heated speeches of Hugo Chavez and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad the U.N. decided to make some slight changes to the format of their assembly. Apparently in future meetings the speeches will look more like the Oscar ceremonies and everytime somebody attacks verbally another world leader a band will start playing music to kick the speaker out of stage.

During the U.N. General Assembly, Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez said that the devil had attended that assembly and that it still smelled of sulfur. The Spanish TV media was impressed by his passionate delivery and offered Chavez to star in the Hispanic Soap opera called "Hugo y el diablo"

Clinton
This Sunday former president Clinton had a very combative interview with Fox News anchor Chris Wallace during the show " Fox News Sunday". That was Bill Clinton’s most heated argument since earlier that morning when Hilary busted him with a brassiere on his pocket.

Senator Allen
Facing what polls suggest is now a highly competitive Senate race, Senator George Allen has started a media campaign to demonstrate he is not racist. During his latest interview he assured reporters that in the TV show Survivor he is siding with the Macaca tribe.

Virginia Senator George Allen Allen reacted angrily when a TV reporter asked him if he was part Jewish. The senator claimed later that he did not want to hide his Jewish heritage but he was afraid to admit it because Mel Gibson could have been in the room.

Starbucks
Starbucks is raising the price of every coffee they sell up to 10 cents due to increasing costs in energy and health-care expenses. Fortunately for their customers Starbucks discarded the first idea they planned which was to raise the price of coffee 1 cent for every letter in the name of their drinks, which would have meant a fortune for some of the clients.

bin Laden
A leaked French intelligence document raises the possibility that Osama bin Laden died of typhoid last month in Pakistan. In other news, Charles typhoid is claming the $25 million reward for the death of Osama.

According to a French newspaper Osama bin Laden died in Pakistan last month. The CIA said that that is not a reliable source because in the same newspaper there’s an article about the love between the French and the showers.