September 29th 2006

Iraq
According to a recent poll 4 out 5 Iraqis say they approve of attacks on U.S.-led forces and want us out of Iraq. Apparently the main reason is that Al Jazeera started broadcasting the new season of "According to Jim."

Nearly two-thirds of Americans surveyed consider Iraq to be in a civil war, the rest are in Iraq fighting the Iraqi insurgency.

Dow Jones
Conservative pundits are frustrated with Americans citizens for not celebrating the fact that the Dow Jones has reached its highest number in 7 years. Unfortunately most Americans thought that the number 11,722 shown on the electric board referred to the number of illegals that cross the border daily.

High School
A surveyed determined that only two-thirds of America teenagers graduate from high school; the rest are practicing stunts to shoot Jackass 3.