October 10th 2006

Mark Foley
Some congressional workers admitted to the press that they told Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert about Foley’s lurid messages with the congressional pages almost 6 years ago. Apparently Hastert knew about this
Foley affair so long ago that the pages were still trees.

James Dobson, founder and chairman of Focus on the Family, and some Right Wing media pundits are saying that the Foley affair is just a joke. Apparently Foley was not busted but punked.

North Korea
North Korea announced Monday it had performed an underground test of an atomic bomb and its leader Kim Jong Il proclaimed that he had joined with other elite countries the "nuclear club." After looking at pictures of Kim the only club he could be a member of so far is the Hair Club for men.

The U.S. Geological Survey reported a four-point-two magnitude tremor late Sunday. It wasn’t North Korea’s nuclear test though, just Dennis Hastert happened to fall of the bed.

The Bush administration is extremely concerned with the idea of North Korean leader Kim Jong Il owning nuclear weapons. Kim is a hard person to understand and read so to negotiate with him, experts suggested someone with the same kind of head: Donald Trump.

In other news...
After the new security upgrades in airports along the country, the San Diego airport put a sign that says "no jokes, please." Apparently since then, the airport became Carlos Mencia’s favorite.

In observance of Columbus Day, most county, state and federal offices closed yesterday. Some people are skeptical about honoring with a Holiday someone that mistook India for America and killed lots of natives upon his arrival. Shouldn’t president Bush be honored with a Holiday then? He mistook Iraq for Iran and lots of innocent people died as well.