October 9th 2006

Dennis Hastert
Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert finally admitted the issue with the pages has caused him some serious problems... the pages of the diet book he bought last year and never read.

Republicans unleashed this Sunday a public defense of Speaker Dennis Hastert over the page sex scandal. Republicans are concerned that if Hastert resigns and they lose his seat, Democrats can accommodate 20 or more representatives on his chair considering the size of Hastert's ass.

George Allen
Senator George Allen might be in trouble again. The senator failed to disclose stock options from a corporate board. Apparently Allen did not say anything because he owns stocks on KFC.

Nuclear test
President Bush admitted to the press to be extremely preoccupied about North Korea’s nuclear test. Not so much for the unbalance in world power but rather because he will be forced to pronounce the word nuclear over and over in future speeches.

North Korea said it conducted an underground nuclear test on Monday. Apparently the explosion was done inside a mine so this time North Korean leader Kim Jong-il would not miss.

Fight against obesity
Five major food companies promised to promote healthier snacks for children in U.S. schools to combat child obesity in a deal brokered by former President Bill Clinton together with the American Heart association. Ironically the idea of helping the world to have skinny women in the future broke the former president’s heart.

Immigrants
According to a survey done this weekend, more and more people agree on sending back immigrants to their countries of origins. Apparently the survey was done among Yankees’ fans after they lost against Detroit.

Pelosi
Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi has repeatedly said that if Democrats win she is going to clean the house. Maybe if Pelosi starts with the contaminated lettuce and spinach she might get my vote.