October 12th 2006

Mark Foley
Mark Stetter, the head veterinarian at Walt Disney World's Animal Kingdom, has created a new five-foot tool that can sterilize a male elephant. Apparently the GOP requested the device to use it with all the Republican representatives starting with Mark Foley.

The Foley ‘s scandal is taking its toll on Dennis Hastert . Apparently the Speaker of the House only gained 20 lbs this week.

Since former representative Mark Foley is in rehab, he has remained sober and illiterate. He has not touched a drink or a page for a week.

GOP members are very frustrated because the media is focusing more on Mark Foley’s lurid instant messages than in the successful economy. They all agreed that next time a Republican congressman IMs a congressional page, they are not only going to tell them how horny they are, but also send a market update and the unemployment rate.

Troops
During a press conference at the Rose garden president Bush suggested we might have to bring the troops back home. Apparently the pentagon worries that if the Detroit Tigers win the world series we will need as many soldiers as possible to control the celebration.

Plane crash
Yankee pitcher Cory Lidle and his flight instructor were killed in the small plane that crashed into an apartment building in Manhattan. Immediately after that some Yankee fans started to pool money to buy Alex Rodriguez a small plane.

Yankee pitcher Cory Lidle and his flight instructor were killed in the small plane that crashed into an apartment building in Manhattan. Ironically that is the only hit a Yankee had this week.

After a small plane crashed into an apartment building in Manhattan some people immediately suspected that that crash was staged by the Bush administration to take off of the front page the Foley scandal. Unfortunately if Bush wanted people to be focusedn the crash and forget everything else, he should have chosen a Mets player to pilot the plane.

Hollywood in the news.....
Actors Isaiah Washington and Patrick Dempsey of the TV show "Grey's Anatomy" got into a violent brawl. Both of them almost died after the fight because there were no real doctors around to take care of them.

Kevin Federline will be guest starring in a episode of CSI. Producers saw great potential on him as a believable actor , after all he’s been fooling Britney Spears for a long time pretending he is not with her for the money

Tobacco giant RJ Reynolds will ban flavored fruity cigarettes also known in England as fags.