February 28th 2007

Stocks Fall
Hundreds of thousands of people all over the world left home today without underwear, not to show support for Britney Spears, but just because they lost everything they owned in the market yesterday.

After stock markets plunged all over the world, lots of Companies lost hundreds of millions of dollars in only one day. Several CEO’s called Paul McCartney to see how to deal with the pain.

The Dow Jones lost more than 400 points in trading Tuesday. It got so bad that Wal-Mart had to call the INS on some of its employees to downsize.

Stocks analysts said that the market plunge in most of the markets around the world happened for what is known as the "Domino Effect." Unfortunately all the dominos, like everything else in the world lately, were made in China.

Anna Nicole

Judge Larry Seidlin said he would have found who the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby was if attorneys accepted his suggestion. Apparently the Florida Judge offered to copy the old King Salomon’s solution and cut the baby in 200 parts.

After his participation in the Anna Nicole Smith’s case, Florida Circuit Judge Larry Seidlin got several job offers to consider. Fox and CBS both offered a TV deal, and some Democrats offered him the Libby trial so some people might find an excuse to follow it.

Benefits
A woman admitted she made her kids pretend to be mentally challenged for twenty years so she could get benefits. Police only disclosed her first name: Barbara…

Al Gore
Everybody in the media pointed out that Al Gore looked like a star at the Oscar ceremony, more than a star, he looked like the great bear constellation.

Al Gore’s spokesman said that before attacking the former Vice president on his home energy consumption, families and organizations should first determine their carbon footprint which in the case of Al Gore seems to be the size of "Sasquatch."

Illegal
National Democrats on Tuesday urged Republican Party chairman Mel Martinez to stop the independent College Republicans from holding "Catch an Illegal Immigrant" events around the country, especially because Democrats do not want to lose a single potential voter.