March 2nd 2007

Walter Reed
The General at Walter Reed military hospital has been relieved of command after allegations that an outpatient center, used to treat veterans from Afghanistan and Iraq, was a hotbed for roach and mice infestation. Fortunately for the General he was immediately hired as a manager for Taco Bell in New York.

A general in charge of the US Army's Walter Reed Medical Center was relieved of command Thursday for neglecting convalescing soldiers. In a written statement the general made clear he was too busy trying to get contracts for the handicapped soldiers to participate in "Dancing with the Stars."

Anna Nicole
Today about 300 people will attend Anna Nicole Smith’s funeral service at a Baptist church in the Bahamas: the priest and 299 guys claiming to be the father of Anna’s baby.

Cold Remedies
According to a group of leading pediatricians, cold remedies put children at risk, especially because if the kids recover they have to go to school and can end up having sex with their teachers.

Risky Business
Deborah J. Palfrey, a woman accused of running a prostitution service in the Washington area, said she is considering selling phone records of about 10,000 clients to raise money for her defense. Reservations in the Rehab Centers of the area are already flying off the shelves.

Deborah J. Palfrey, a woman accused of running a prostitution service in the Washington area, said she is considering selling phone records of about 10,000 clients to raise money for her defense. As a consequence, it is expected that the number of presidential candidates will drop dramatically.