April 22nd 2007

Russian Media
Managers of Russia's top radio news network say at least 50% of all news stories from the Russian News Service will now be of a positive nature. Russian networks believe the FOX News 100% positive spin was too much.

Managers of Russia's top radio news network say at least 50% of all news stories from the Russian News Service will now be of a positive nature. From now onwards the lines to get toilet paper will be reported only as a half a block.

Heather Mills
ABC executives were not satisfied with the ratings they obtained for the last "Dancing with the Stars" show. They thought the fall of Heather Mills in the last show was going to bring them huge ratings. Apparently the story of Heather Mills falling has no legs.

Trees
Mayor Michael Bloomberg is planning to plant one million new trees in the urban landscape of New York City by the year 2017. Donald Trump is already capitalizing on this and is advertising the new luxurious one-two-three branches apartments.

Hillary
Hillary Clinton met with the Rutgers women's basketball team Friday. The presidential candidate said she left the meeting with a renewed positive spirit , and a couple of phone numbers from some of the cute players.