May 18th 2007

Jenna Jameson
Porn star Jenna Jameson said that Hillary Clinton is her favorite 2008 Presidential candidate. The world's most famous porn star called Bill Clinton's Presidency the best years for the adult industry unlike the Bush's presidency which were the best years for the infant industry.

Bald Mice
Scientists were able to grow hair in bald mice. Apparently the bald mice became subconscious of their baldness when they saw themselves repeatedly eating at Taco Bell and KFC in all the news channels.

Jerry Falwell
Moral Majority founder Jerry Falwell died in his office at Liberty University Tuesday. Expect several Republican candidates to get out of the closet by the end of the week.

Whales
Scientists are using recordings of humpback whales to lure an injured whale and her calf away from Sacremento's shipping canals and back into the Pacific Ocean. Apparently it is just a recording of Rosie O'Donnell singing in the shower.