June 27th 2007

Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton lost ten pounds during her time in prison. Apparently all the reading she claimed she did in jail made her stomach upset.

Venezuela
The presidents of Venezuela and Bolivia, Hugo Chavez and Evo Morales, were present Tuesday at the opening game of the “Copa América 2007” soccer tournament in Venezuela. Two undercover spies should have shot them right on their heads.... Page 277 of the recent declassified CIA documents.

The United States soccer team will debut tomorrow at the “Copa América 2007” soccer tournament in Venezuela. According to the new Venezuelan official TV channel that Hugo Chavez opened a couple of weeks ago, the US team already lost 9 to nothing and is evil.

Rosie’s Daughter
A picture of Rosie O’Donnell’s young daughter Vivi with a bullet belt slug over her shoulder has caused a huge controversy. Apparently that is the only way the little girl can protect her food from Rosie's voracious appetite.

Airlines
JetBlue Airways was awarded highest honors in airline customer satisfaction from J.D. Power and Associates. Continental was all “number two.”

Sizemore
Tom Sizemore, the actor from "Saving Private Ryan" has been convicted to 16 months in prison where he’ll have to be saved from Ryan’s privates.

Bathroom
9 out of 10 people would do whatever it takes to keep their skin from making contact with anything in a public restroom. The other one is George Michael, who would do anything he can to make any kind of contact.

Feet Severed
A girl had her feet severed off by the Superman ride at Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom. Unfortunately she is now two-feet short for any other rides.

A girl had her feet severed off by the Superman ride at Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom. She was lucky though, last time someone attempted the Superman ride he got paraplegic.