June 28th 2007

Hey, I want to thank mi amigo Ken, and Newsday for posting some of my jokes, man, it means a lot for me! But I want to tell mi amigo Ken that in no way or form this means Argentina soccer team is going to have any mercy today with the US soccer team, no way. Sorry Ken, sorry Newsday but today we will have fun with you guys!!!!!! Anyhow thanks for the posting, I trully appreciate it!

http://www.newsday.com/search/ny-oppun285272124jun28,0,1359979.story

Immigration
According to a recent United Way of Salt Lake survey, fear is one of the reasons why illegal immigrants do not want to learn English. Apparently they fear that if they learn English it is going to be hard for them to find a job in the US.

A power outage struck parts of Manhattan's Upper East Side during a heat wave on Wednesday. Officials believe that in 9 months there could be a surge in the New York population, not so much from pregnancies, just illegal immigration.

Mexican officials complained that a fence built recently in New Mexico was built totally on the Mexican side of the border. The Mexican Government was infuriated because they could have pushed the fence a little more to the South, on the border between Mexico and Guatemala.

Scouts
Brandweek.com is reporting that the Girl Scouts may start giving away coupons for over the counter medicine when you buy their cookies. Now I feel very safe buying those cookies.

Roots
50 Cent said that he went back to his grandmother's house in Queens to write his new album, so he could reconnect with his ghetto roots. Apparently her Grandma is a violent criminal with a tendency to threaten people while enjoying Crystal and with a predisposition to enjoy bitches.

50 Cent said that he went back to his grandmother's house in Queens to write his new album, so he could reconnect with his ghetto roots. Meanwhile K-Fed also went to his grandmother’s house, next to the market, to reconnect with his roots: his love for carrots, potatoes, and turnips.
Paris Hilton
During an interview with Larry King, Paris Hilton said that being strip-searched in prison was the most humiliating experience of her life; especially because there were no cameras rolling and no paparazzies taking pictures.

During an interview with Larry King, Paris Hilton said she found Jesus while spending her time in jail: it was on a Sunday morning during breakfast; Jesus was covered in peanut butter on her toast.

Phone
According to the Mobile World, 1000 new people sign for a mobile phone every minute, and the worst part is that they all end up going to the same movie theater I go.