Friday Leftovers...
Britney
Britney Spears' visitation rights with her children were suspended Thursday because she has not complied with the drug tests. Britney said that it is a vicious cycle because if she doesn’t see her kids first, who is going to urinate in the cup for her drug test?

According to recent pictures, it looks like Britney Spears has her lips blown up. Apparently she did it because she wanted to lip-synch longer.

Britney Spears turned herself into a Los Angeles police station on Monday. Before she was let go, she was fingerprinted and the cops took her Muff Shot.

DNA Pioneer
The DNA pioneer and Nobel Prize winner, James Watson apologized Friday for his claim that black people are less intelligent than whites. Apparently when Watson heard Dick Cheney was part black he knew his life was in danger.

Birth Control
After an outbreak of pregnancies among middle school girls, education officials in Maine have decided to make birth control pills available to girls as young as 11. They got a lot of opposition from several religious groups but an unexpected increase in the number of teachers’ applications.

McCain
John McCain trotted out his ninety-five-year-old mother at his speech in South Carolina Wednesday to show that he's not too old to be president. Apparently his mom demanded to be there because if he is going to get a raise in his allowance she wanted to make sure McCain was not going to waste it in candies.

Bush
House Democrats on Thursday failed to override President Bush's veto of a children's health insurance bill. Apparently president Bush wasn’t satisfied though and yesterday he declared war against "Kid Nation".

Recruits
The Army, Navy and Air Force unwittingly advertised for recruits on a website for gays. They claimed they got confused when they saw a bunch of pictures of buffed men in uniform.