January 16th 2008

Michigan election
Mitt Romney won the Republican primary in Michigan even though most polls had given Senator John McCain the lead. McCain’s wife is infuriated because she now suspects her husband could be dating Jessica Simpson.

Bill Clinton
In the middle of a speech by Bill Clinton’s, a woman that was on stage behind him got weak in the knees and fainted. It’s quite strange because most women around Bill Clinton happen to be quite strong in the knees.

Rambo
Sylvester Stallone is returning to the big screen with a fourth installment of "Rambo. Things are a little bit different in the new movie: in Rambo I he had a big wound and sowed it himself; in Rambo IV he knits a sweater.

Paul McCartney
Singer Paul McCartney announced Tuesday he will stage an exhibition of his first wife Linda's photographs. If he really wants to attract a huge audience, he should do an exhibition with Heather Mill’s photographs; especially those in which she is naked.

Birth Rate
The United States seems to be experiencing a baby boomlet, reporting the largest number of children born in 45 years. Researchers believe that number of births could increase even more considering that writers are on strike and all the TV shows are crap.

The United States seems to be experiencing a baby boomlet, reporting the largest number of children born in 45 years. Researchers believe the numbers of births will continue to grow as long as the U. S. imports the condoms from China.

Lies
According to a new survey in England, the average person tells four lies every day, unless of course you are a presidential candidate on campaign, then the four lies occur every minute.

Fire
According to a new survey, in a disaster, 39% of men say they'd grab financial documents before they evacuated their house. The other 51% percent throw their financial documents on purpose to get rid of the evidence because they work in the White House.