April 30th 2008

Elections
Barack Obama played basketball again Wednesday, this time with the University of North Carolina team. The stats were not as impressive as last time. No points, no rebounds, and worst of all no blocks of Rev. Wright’s shots.

The fight between Obama and Hillary continued this week on the verge of the Indiana elections. They are not as confrontational as before the Pennsylvania elections. Apparently, they don’t want to make so much noise to avoid waking up McCain from his nap.

Bush
This weekend at the White House Correspondents' Association annual dinner, President Bush picked up a baton and conducted the U.S. Marine band. It was quite uncomfortable for the press when Bush told them that when he grabbed the wand he felt like David Copperfield.

This weekend at the White House Correspondents' Association annual dinner, President Bush picked up a baton and conducted the U.S. Marine band. Bush became the conductor-in-chief, and that night the Marine Band sounded as horrible as never before.

Health Insurance
A poll released yesterday by the Kaiser Family Foundation said that many Americans are getting married just for the health insurance benefits, which comes in handy when the marriage goes sour and they start beating each other.

Population
The U.S. population could hit 1 billion by the year 2100. And if foreclosure continues at this rate, all of them will be living in only 10 houses.

Wright
Pastor Jeremiah Wright said Monday the U.S. government invented AIDS to wipe out blacks. Did he mean from the NBA?

Gas
The national average for the price of gas jumped to $3.60 this week. Gas is so expensive that yesterday during her show, Oprah surprised the audience telling them: “You got a gallon of gas , you got a gallon of gas!”

Iran
On Monday, a top Iranian official sent out a letter to Iran's leaders warning that Western toys are culturally destructive and a social danger: especially if they were made in China…

Mind
Research shows that the human mind can only do four things at once. Listening to the radio, talking on the cell phone, eating, and watching a video, oh gees, who’s driving the car?

Thief
The mayor of a California town was arrested for stealing money from the city's little league fund. Is that considered a petty theft?

Master P
Rapper Master P turned 41 yesterday. He used to be a “no limit soldier,” now it all depends on the availability of Viagra.

Hendrix
Vivid Entertainment claims to have acquired a Jimi Hendrix sex tape. Apparently, at one moment he grabs a woman like a guitar and plays her with his teeth.

Cat
A cat that was stuck in a drain pipe for four days is back home safe and sound. “That’s not that impressive,” said Amy Winehouse, who’s been stuck with the pipe for years.

David Blaine
Magician David Blaine will try to break the world record for breath-holding during a live broadcast of "The Oprah Winfrey Show.” It would be more impressive if he could hold his breath during the Tyra Banks show.