May 5th 2008

Yahoo
Microsoft dropped its blockbuster bid to acquire Yahoo late Saturday, after Yahoo's board insisted on a higher price. Apparently, Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang told Steve Ballmer “We’re not Ya Ho."

Youtube
A number of blogs reported early Saturday morning that the YouTube server went down for a short time. It gave politicians and celebrities the chance to screw anybody they wanted and do as much drugs as they wanted without the fear of having the video uploaded immediately.

Kentucky Derby
Filly Eight Belles was second at the Kentucky Derby on Saturday but broke down as the 20-horse field galloped out past the finish line and had to be euthanized later on the track. No wonder Hillary doesn’t want to quit the race, she knows exactly what would happen to her if she doesn’t win.

Tom Cruise
Tom Cruise returned to the Oprah Winfrey show this time with a more serious, thoughtful appearance than 3 years ago when he jumped in the couch professing his love for his wife. It shows what a couple of years of marriage can do to you.

Economy
President Bush, buoyed by a batch of economic news that wasn't as bad as expected, predicted Friday that consumers are on their way to better days. Experts agreed we are on our way to better days, especially because we are just months away from the end of his presidency.

The bruised economy limped through the first quarter, growing at just a 0.6 percent pace. There are clear signs of a recession, especially when Miley Cyrus doesn’t have money for clothes for a photo shoot.

Spam
Friday marked the 30th anniversary of the spam email. The Spam is getting old; pretty soon it will need its own Viagra e-mails for itself.

Barbara Walters
Barbara Walters confessed she had sex with a black man, and until she explained it was a former senator, everybody thought she was talking about Woopy Goldberg.

Allergies
A form of immunotherapy that could get rid of a person's allergy to nuts is likely within five years, a U.S. expert said on Thursday. The study has been funded by Ryan Seacrest, Larry Craig and Elton John.

Drugs
Elderly people who take commonly prescribed drugs for incontinence walk more slowly. The others have to rush to the bathroom every 2 minutes.

Elderly people who take commonly prescribed drugs walk more slowly than others not taking the drugs, U.S. researchers said on Saturday. After reading the article, Paula Abdul decided to buy a scooter.

Food
A report reveals that in the U.S. 76 million people get sick each year from food borne illness. And that’s only among cruise ships passengers.

Tomatoes
A study says that a diet of five tomatoes a day will protect from sunburn, unless you are the farmer that has to pick them up...

A study says that a diet of five tomatoes a day will protect from sunburn. I guess I have to double my daily doses of Bloody Marys.