May 7th 2008

Bugs
The US army is going to use robotic insects that will carry out explosions and will identify nuclear or biological weapons. Apparently, the army did most of the recruiting at Taco Bell kitchens.

Drugs
On Tuesday, an undercover drug probe focused on San Diego State University and some of its fraternities led to the arrest of 96 people, including 75 students. On Tuesday night, enrollment at San Diego State University had already tripled.

Elections
Hillary’s double dream was dashed last night when she lost North Carolina and barely won Indiana. Bill’s double dream was still on especially when he was seen leaving the campaign office with two strippers named Lovely and Cherry.

Health
Researchers at Harvard Medical School have found that having extra fat around the hips and rear is good for you. Finally some good news for Hillary Clinton!

Laser-Eye procedures
The number of laser-eye procedures in the U.S. is dropping. Apparently, short-sighted people find it useless, especially when they hear all the tail that the blind governor of New York gets.

Tainted Meat
A New York food company is recalling 286,000 pounds of tainted meat. Apparently, some people complained to the FDA when they saw company employees buying “Eight Belles.”

American Idol
American Idol was on last night and due to the clear bad performance there’s already a sure eliminated candidate: Hillary Clinton.

Obama
Barack Obama told some people in North Carolina Monday that if he becomes the president, he will build a basketball court inside the White House. I always thought there was already one because Bill Clinton always bragged about all the times he scored at the White house.

Barack Obama told some people in North Carolina Monday that if he becomes the president, he will build a basketball court inside the White House. McCain, a bingo.

One of the Obama’s campaign offices in Indiana was vandalized Tuesday as one large window was smashed and several other windows were spray painted. Police suspect senator McCain could be behind the attack because the graffities were done in hieroglyphic writing.

Lohan
Dina Lohan received an award as one of Long Island's "Top Moms." Unfortunately, her daughter couldn’t be there because she was passed out drunk in another bar.

Ice Cream
Irvine Robbins, co-founder of Baskin-Robbins, has died at age 90. Expect the new flavor Vanilla raspberry with sprinkled ashes.

Irvine Robbins, co-founder of Baskin-Robbins, has died at age 90. He asked to be frozen.