September 16th 2008

Economy
Most the banks in the US are in serious financial crisis. In some of them, when you go to make a deposit, the tellers welcome you wearing ski masks.

Senator John McCain said Monday that the fundamentals of the economy are still sound. Easy to say for him as he’s half deaf; because, for most Americans, if the economy is sound, it sounds like a Yoko Ono album.

Good News for senator McCain: After the collapse on the market yesterday, most economists advised stockowners to go for the lipstick strategy. Put on some lipstick and start hitting the streets to get some extra cash.

During a town hall meeting in Orlando John McCain said that the economy is safe because the working class is the backbone of the U.S. economy. Unfortunately, I don’t know for how long people can keep getting it in the backbone.

Palin
Vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin said Monday she would concentrate on energy. Apparently, she’ll be in charge of turning the lights off when there’s nobody left in this country.

Recent polls show McCain/Palin with a huge lead in Alaska. When asked why they were so enthusiastic about voting Republican, most of the people in Alaska said they don’t want Palin to ever go back there as a governor.

Sarah Palin is now under criticism for having a tanning bed installed in the Governor's Mansion. The governor now claims she did it because she wanted to understand people of color.

Sarah Palin is now under criticism for having a tanning bed installed in the Governor's Mansion. I would be concerned if I were McCain, Palin is now saying she installed the bed so senator McCain would have a place to sleep when he’s visiting Alaska.

McCain’s staffers were disappointed Monday when during a speech in Jacksonville the candidate didn’t draw a big crowd because Sarah Palin wasn’t with him. They have a plan; from now onwards, they’ll put some lipstick and a skirt on Giuliani, and take him as a Sarah Palin’s double.

Other news
A doctor in England will be sentenced next month for giving his female patients breast massages to stimulate hair growth. Apparently, the doctor got it wrong; it stimulates the growth of other parts of the body, especially his.

According to the National Opinion Research Center, the average married couples in the U.S. have sex 66 times a year, but only three to four times with each other.

American Idol winner David Cook has announced that his debut album will hit stores November 18th. And hit stores again on November 19th when those who bought the albums throw them back.