November 5th 2008

Election Night
CNN debuted a new gadget in Election Day when they beamed in a holographic image of a reporter from Chicago. Right after the elections, Lou Dobbs begged CNN to beam him to Canada.

CNN debuted a new gadget in Election Day when they beamed in a holographic image of a reporter from Chicago. It was too much when the reporter said: “Help me Obama, you’re my only hope...”

All the networks debuted gadgets that helped them with the broadcast of the election. FOX news included botox injections in the make up room because most of its reporters were aging by the minute when the results started coming in.

Karl Rove was one of the few reporters that didn’t look depressed during Fox election day broadcast. His secret? Taking a peek of the movie "Roots" during commercials.

Fox news reported voter intimidation by Black Panthers in Philadelphia, and voter intimidation by white cougars in New York.

Joe the plumber was pulled over for speeding in Toledo, Ohio, but didn’t receive a ticket. The cop was sympathetic with the plumber, especially when Joe said he was hurrying up before his 15 minutes were over.

The media reported that several people cried while casting their votes on Tuesday. It wasn’t the emotion, just the pain of the cramps for having to wait standing in line for hours.

A woman in Los Angeles went into labor while standing in line. And before she was able to vote the kid was already walking.

John McCain gave an emotional concession speech in front of thousands. Nader phoned his only voter but the call wasn’t answered.

A woman in San Antonio went to vote in an ambulance because she really wanted Obama as president. When she left the booth, she gave the finger to her doctor and started screaming “free health care, free health care..!”

Bush spent election night in the White House residence, watching TV and hosting a small dinner with his wife, Laura. I don’t want to say he was depressed, but he asked Laura for an extra order of pretzels.

A 103-year old man voted for the first time in his life and did it for Obama. Apparently, he claimed McCain was too old.

It was reported Tuesday that right before the elections, Obama shot some hoops. Palin, some moose.

In the news
A 73-year-old full-time student scored twice playing basketball for his college Monday. Lucky for him, he scored twice later on the night as well with two underage chicks; one was 60 and the other 65.

According to a study, female teens who watch racy shows like "Sex and the City" or "Grey’s Anatomy" are twice as likely to get pregnant in the next three years. None of the pregnancies are caused by male teens that watch those shows though....

A 73-year-old full-time student scored two free throws playing basketball for his college Monday. How bad does Shaquille O’Neal look now that even a 73-year-old man scores free throws?