October 23rd 2008

Sara Palin
Sarah Palin says that the election results rest "in God's hands." She’s likely to lose then, because if God wanted her to win, he would have used his hands to cover her mouth during the Couric’s interview.

Obama
Some websites speculate that Oprah Winfrey might help the Barack Obama campaign "produce" the half-hour, primetime ad for next Wednesday. Apparently, at the end of the program, Obama points at the people in the crowd and screams, “You got a food stamp, you got a food stamp and you got a food stamp too!”

Some websites speculate that Oprah Winfrey might help the Barack Obama campaign "produce" the half-hour, primetime ad for next Wednesday. Apparently, Oprah suggested that Joe Biden should jump up and down on a couch screaming his love for America.

Conservative radio hosts have shed some doubt on Obama’s grandma’s sickness after the candidate decided to leave the campaign and visit her in Hawaii. The Obama campaign acted quickly and offered to share the 1,000 pages of the old lady’s medical records and give the press 5 minutes to go trough it.

Biden
Some political analysts say that Joe Biden has not been answering questions lately. In fact, the last questionnaire he answered was at the plastic surgeon’s office before the debate.

Economy
The economic crisis is so big, the IMF changed the meaning of its acronym from International Monetary Fund to I’M F.....

McCain
According to the Project for Excellence in Journalism, 86 percent of McCain’s coverage in the media has been negative and only 14 percent of the reports about him were positive... positive that he really sucks.

Elections
Voting activists are claiming voter suppression because early voters had to wait up to 8 hours to cast their votes in Florida and Ohio. What those who don’t want us to vote didn’t realize this time is that most people can wait more than 8 hours because thanks to this administration they are unemployed.

Miss Teen
Miss Teen Louisiana lost her crown 11 days early after being arrested on charges of leaving a restaurant without paying and carrying marijuana. Organizers of the pageant should have suspected she was a pothead, especially when during the talent portion of the event she mesmerized everybody with her talent for converting ounces into grams.