October 16th 2008

Dick Cheney
On Wednesday, Dick Cheney had heart problems and Nancy Reagan was hospitalized with a broken pelvis. On the way to the hospital, Reagan told the paramedics “that Cheney, he’s a sex machine!"

Dick Cheney was hospitalized Wednesday due to heart problems. “Everything is under control,” said our new president Henry Paulson.

Dick Cheney was hospitalized Wednesday due to heart problems. It was a scary moment because all the CPR units had already been sent to help McCain at the presidential debate.

Debate
Both candidates during the debate repeatedly brought up the name of a guy in Toledo known as Joe the plumber. It was a wise decision; every American knows we will need a plumber to deal with all the crap Bush left in the country.

Senator John McCain said during the debate that he wants $300 billion to help people stay in their homes, especially on voting day.

Senator John McCain brought up several times during the debate the name of a guy in Toledo known as Joe the plumber. Of course you will need a plumber with all the concern Republicans have about ACORN.

Joe The Plumber
According to some newspapers Joe the plumber may not be a real plumber and may not be planning to buy a plumbing business. So apparently Joe the plumber was full of crap.

Sara Palin
Sarah Palin made an unexpected stop at a Wal-Mart in Southeastern Ohio yesterday. She wouldn't even answer if she wanted paper or plastic.

Hillary Clinton
During an interview with Fox and Friends, Hillary Clinton said that there’s zero possibilities she’ll run for president again, zero possibilities she’ll be nominated in the supreme court, and zero possibilities she’ll ever have sex with Bill again...

In The News
According to the U.S. Census Bureau 16% of men who are 40 and over have never been married. Pollsters didn’t ask any questions; they just counted the smiles.

Utah has started using a website that allows students to anonymously report bullies. The first message posted reads. I’m tired of the abuse of that bitchy, hockey mom. Signed B.H.O.

A grandpa in southern California built a 450-square-foot playhouse for his grandkids. Unfortunately, it was foreclosed on.