October 13th 2008

McCain
Senator John McCain said he’s been preparing himself hard for Wednesday’s presidential debate. The preparation probably consists of a lot of aerobics and tons of cardio, considering all the walking he did on the last debate.

John McCain was booed during a town hall meeting after he described Barack Obama as a decent person. The booing came from Sarah Palin and Cindy McCain.

John McCain will visit the David Letterman Show on Thursday, three weeks after standing Letterman up claiming it wasn’t time for humor because of the financial crisis. Get your confetti and party hats ready because if McCain is going to the Letterman show the economy must be doing great!

Republican John McCain vowed Sunday to "whip" Democratic rival Barack Obama's "you-know-what" when the two presidential candidates meet Wednesday in their final televised debate. This is the first time his staffers hoped McCain had said “ass” instead of leaving it to the imagination of his supporters.

There's a new movement called "O's for Obama" which involves Barack Obama supporters having climaxes on October 24th in order to help him get elected. McCain supporters are fighting back and on that day they will try to take a BM.

Cubans
Two members of Cuba's national soccer team defected to America before a soccer game for a World Cup qualifying match in Washington. Apparently, with the nationalization of the banks, and the bailout of the companies, the Cubans thought this was a more communist country than Cuba.

Two members of Cuba's national soccer team defected to America before a soccer game for a World Cup qualifying match in Washington. The other members of the team were about to do the same, but after reading about the economic news they realized they would be better off in Cuba.

Palin
According to a high school report card that surfaced on the web Friday, Sarah Palin had a D in foreign Language. Apparently, she could see Russia from her home, but she couldn't hear them

The McCain campaign said Saturday that the investigation in Alaska on Sarah Palin’s abuse of power is partisan, and called it a “witch hunt.” Which proves what the Obama campaign have been trying to prove for months since they released that video with her pastor.

Economy
Leaders of the G-7 gathered in Washington to discuss the economic crisis. Ironically, G 7 was the room they all had to share to overnight because the White House couldn’t afford more than one room for all of them.

Economists believe that if Obama is chosen president the unemployment rate can decrease to almost 0%. That considering all the people that the government will need to hire to protect him.

In the news
A shark at an aquarium in Virginia got pregnant without having sex with another male shark, said a zoo official with only one leg and one arm and band aids covering most of his body.

An Italian woman was discovered to have been kept a prisoner in her own home by her husband for fifty years. When she was set free and saw the state of the world economy, she asked her husband if he could keep her capture for another 10 years until the economy recovers.

There’s a new place called Smash Shack that helps people relieve their stress and tension by throwing, smashing and destroying an array of breakable objects. It is a great idea, because as soon as your wife finds out you spent money on this crap, she’ll get the same relief by throwing objects at you at home.

Sunday was Columbus Day, the day Christopher Columbus discovered America. President Bush was looking for Columbus’ ancestors, not to congratulate them but to know if they would take America back.