September 29th 2008

Debate
Political analysts were surprised that Sarah Palin wasn’t available after the presidential debate to talk to the media about McCain’s performance. Nobody knew where the vice presidential candidate was. According to Russians, she was throwing a party in the backyard of her home in Alaska.

The presidential debate took place on Friday. It almost didn’t happen, not because McCain was not going to show up, but because due to the financial crisis nobody at the University had a quarter to lend the organizers to do to the coin toss and determine the order to answer questions.

Most political analysts praised John McCain, a known temperamental, an edgy debater, because the candidate kept his cool throughout the entire debate. Unfortunately, the two puppies McCain bumped into while leaving the University couldn’t say the same.

Ads
The Obama campaign released an ad that shows McCain winning the 2008 elections. Senator McCain immediately called the press to show that Obama also lies in his ads.

After the presidential debate, Obama released an ad attacking McCain because the Republican candidate never mentioned the middle class during the debate. To be fair with McCain, I didn’t know we still have a middle class in America either.

Water
Authorities in Capitol Hill are warning people of a potential shortage of water, especially if Republicans keep washing their hands off this financial crisis all the time.

Hillary
Hillary Clinton is getting her own comic book. A possible name: I wonder , woman?

In The News
Japan is planning to spend $9 billion on a massive space elevator to lift people and objects into orbit. The only problem so far is to find someone that can survive Kenny G for such a long ride.

Six retired NFL players will donate their brains to science when they die so U.S. researchers can study the effects of concussions. Scientists are still looking for a couple more of NFL players so they get at least one brain out of the 8.

A 61-year-old Kentucky man is suing his doctor for removing his penis without his consent. The lawyer suggested a million dollars an inch in compensation, until his client’s wife told him that would be a half a million dollar settlement.

Wedding
Some people in the McCain campaign are not discarding the possibility of a pre-election wedding in Alaska between Bristol Palin, and Levi Johnston. The couple is already registered at Bed, Bad and Not Beyond November 5th.

Some people in the McCain campaign are not discarding the possibility of a pre-election wedding in Alaska between Bristol Palin, and Levi Johnston: A ceremony where the only white thing should be the ice.