September 24th 2008

Clay Aiken
Clay Aiken’s admitted he’s gay. He’s is on the cover of People magazine holding his infant son with the headline: "Yes, I'm Gay." Immediately after that, his son uttered his first words: “Duh!”

Clay Aiken is on the cover of People magazine holding his infant son with the headline: "Yes, I'm Gay." If sales do well, the next cover of People will continue with shocking revelations: a picture of Larry Craig, holding a roll of toilet paper saying he’s gay too.

Politics
Both candidates keep repeating that they want change for America on their campaign trails. If America wants change, we should vote for Bush again, because after the financial crisis, that’s the only thing left in the country.

UN
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the Iranian president, gave Bush the thumbs-down during Bush’s speech at the UN General assembly. The interpreter seemed to be a little confused, because he showed Bush the middle finger instead.

Teeth
A federal report issued Tuesday said that millions of poor American children have untreated tooth decay. Now, even the Dentists association is supporting the McCain’s slogan: “Drill here drill now.”

A federal report issued Tuesday said that millions of poor American children have untreated tooth decay. Apparently, parents want their kid’s teeth to fall, hoping the tooth fairy would bring some much-needed money to the house.

Palin
Some of the world leaders, whom Sarah Palin met at the UN General Assembly, were complimentary with the Alaskan governor. The leaders couldn’t wait to go back to their countries and tell their families that they had met Tina Fey.

Immigrants
The wave of immigrants entering the United States slowed dramatically as the US economy is collapsing. The illegals who still enter the U.S. go straight to Home Depot to pick up stock brokers and take them to Mexico for cheap labor.

TV
According to a new study, broadcast TV will have 16 gay or bisexual regular characters on prime-time shows this fall, most of them in CSpan.

In the news
According to a recent study, married couples who want to break up are staying together because it costs too much money to get divorced. Unfortunately, they lose the same money in the long run, especially with all the broken plates and the hospital bills after the fights.