September 22nd 2008

Exercise
Canadian and U.S. researchers say there is a direct correlation between fingers length and being motivated to hit the gym. Apparently, the longer the proctologist’s middle finger is, the fastest you want to run away.

Weapon
Israeli police has developed a weapon that sprays a nauseating smell and helps disperse demonstrators. Demonstrators are planning to travel to New Jersey to train and get ready for future attacks with the smelly weapon.

McCain
John McCain says Barack Obama's economic policies will lead the nation into another depression. Especially his...

SNL did a skit about McCain in which the candidate constantly includes lies in his political ads. The senator immediately complained about the skit and said that “that’s a lie,” and asked for the tape to include it on his next political commercial.

According to Newsweek, Senator John McCain owns 13 cars. With so many cars and his bad jokes on stage, he could be the perfect replacement for Jay Leno.

According to Newsweek, Senator John McCain owns 13 cars. Apparently, every time Cindy tells McCain to go to the store for oatmeal, McCain comes back with an automobile.

Taxes
Vice presidential candidate Joe Biden is getting criticized for saying that paying taxes is patriotic... especially by Wesley Snipes.

Lice
Health officials warned Thursday about a new breed of drug-resistant super lice. That was until they realized that all the head scratching they were seeing lately had nothing to do with lice, but rather with people in Wall Street not believing the economy tanked that bad.

Cold
Canadian researchers say that social isolation can actually make a person feel cold. This just in: president Bush just ordered 20 heaters for his room at the White House.

Movie
The movie Battle in Seattle hit theaters this week, a movie about anarchist in Seattle protesting against capitalism. Producers are working on a sequel; this time Wall Street traders will be the ones protesting against capitalism.

Palin
At the insistence of the McCain campaign, the debate between Sarah Pain and Joe Biden will have shorter question-and-answer segments than those for the presidential nominees, the advisers said. They also requested that Palin can phone a friend for help or poll the audience in case she needs it.

Political analysts are saying that Sarah Palin’s fame has declined considerably, especially after the interview with Charles Gibson. Critics are saying that with that interview Palin jumped the moose.

Political experts have noticed that McCain and Palin ‘s appearances together are getting better and that both candidates are more comfortable with each other when they share a stage. In fact, their timing on stage is so good that they can finish each other’s lies.

Democrats
One-third of white Democrats have negative views of black people... especially of those who play for the New York Knicks.

Yankees
Sunday was the last game at Yankee stadium and the team is moving to a new field. The old stadium will be destroyed soon and officials are considering using the team’s performance as an explosion device.

The Yankees are leaving Yankee Stadium and moving to a new field being built right next to the old one. New Yankee Stadium will be ready as soon as work crews clean up all the visiting team's home runs hit off Yankee pitchers this year from old Yankee Stadium