October 2nd 2008

Awesome news , I am a CEO and the goverment is bailing me out! I wish, actually even better news. I'm in Newday! Thanks to Mr Rasak and the people at Newsday for choosing one of my jokes, always an honor. Check the link:
http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-oppun5866223oct02,0,298905.story

Bush
A harsh and quite detrimental movie about President Bush’s life is about to be released soon. And this is the genius of president Bush; the economy under his administration is so bad, nobody will have any money to go see it.

In a recent Washington Post poll, President Bush received the lowest approval ratings of any president in the history of this country. Who said Bush was a divider? He united most Americans into hating him.

McCain
John McCain is selling a 5,000-square-foot Arizona mansion for $12 million. He knows what he’s doing; this is the perfect time; as soon as one of the CEO’s gets the money from the bailout, they can buy it right away.

After giving a speech on the economy in Independence, MO, Senator John McCain wandered around the stage for a while looking for the exit. And that’s not all; the most embarrassing part was that president Bush was the one that guided him out to find the exit.

Sarah Palin
During an interview with Katie Couric, Sarah Palin spoke about the disastrous economy. She said that if we don’t act now, this is going to be more than the Great Depression, this is going to be the Fabulous depression.

During an interview with Katie Couric, Sarah Palin couldn’t name any supreme court case other than Roe V. Wade. Then on the way home Palin grabbed her head and said: “how could I forget about Kramer VS Kramer and Spy Vs Spy?”

Sarah Palin told Katie Couric that she's been listening to Joe Biden since she was in the second grade. So, her grandma was probably listening to McCain’s speeches since she was in second grade as well.

A video of Sarah Palin playing the flute during a beauty pageant surfaced the web Wednesday. Now republicans are using the video to say that she’ll lure the rats out of Washington DC into a river where they will all drown.

A video of Sarah Palin playing the flute during a beauty pageant surfaced the web Wednesday. And we all thought Bill Clinton liked her before...

Life expectancy
According to a company called Bragg Associates, Obama’s life expectancy is 22 years. He might not make it to the elections though, his life expectancy decreases a month or two for every gaffe Joe Biden makes.

According to a company called Bragg Associates, McCain’s life expectancy is eight and a half years. McCain is quite fit, especially with all the exercise he does running away from Bush.

In the news
A 23-foot inflatable condom was stolen in Mexico. Most women in the world immediately started the search to find the thief.

A man in Stuart, Florida, was mugged by a gang of topless women. He reported the case to the police and when asked to describe the suspects, he didn’t hesitate: 2 36 D’s, a 34 C and ugly A cup.

A man in Stuart, Florida, was mugged by a gang of topless women who robbed him of $100. The man reported the case to the police who together with him will come to the same place every Thursday hoping the same thing happens again.