October 15th 2008

Palin
Newsweek magazine is under criticism because last week’s cover featured an unflattering picture of Sarah Palin. Her fans didn’t notice it though because after the 6 pack everybody looks hot.

Newsweek magazine is being criticized because last week’s cover featured an unflattering picture of Sarah Palin. Apparently, she was photographed next to McCain.

A company is releasing a Sarah Palin blowup doll for sale. The doll is identical to the real Sarah Palin but with less air in the head.

Ringo Starr
Ringo Starr said that he doesn't want fans contacting him anymore because he doesn’t have time to answer. Nobody believed him, especially when he said he needed the time to compose great music.

Ads
Barack Obama has begun advertising on billboards within the virtual world of an online video game called Burnout Paradise. McCain immediately counteracted and rolled out a version of the Ataris video game "Pong" with his head as the paddles.

Barack Obama has begun advertising on billboards within the virtual world of an online video game called Burnout Paradise. The McCain campaign wants the young vote too so they are thinking of including Sarah Palin as a hooker in the next edition of Grand Theft Auto

Airlines
U.S. airlines improved their on-time performance in August. The finding came in a survey done among CEO’s that traveled to the Cayman Islands.

Work
According to a recent survey, 5% of American workers consider their boss a "parent figure". Ironically, that number pales in comparison to those secretaries that actually call their bosses daddy.

Registration
Republicans have been making a huge issue about the group ACORN. McCain hates it. It‘s understandable; at that age ACORN is something you don’t want to bite with a fake denture.

Republicans have been making a huge issue about the group ACORN. So why was Mccain so happy last time he saw ACORN in his last BM?

In the news
A Ukrainian boxer used his son's wet diapers to keep his fists from swelling up after winning his heavyweight title against a Nigerian fighter. The loser of the fight wasn’t happy when he put into practice the same method because it was actually his face that got swollen.

A Florida woman was arrested for pouring scalding hot water on her husband's groin. She apologized and said she did it because she thought it would have the opposite effect of cold water

Personal property of David Beckham was found on eBay. Judging by his performance this season, Galaxy fans hope he was selling his legs because he sucks.