October 20th 2008

Sara Palin
According to the Center for Media and Public Affairs, Late night talk show hosts delivered 180 jokes attacking Sarah Palin and only 16 against Biden. Actually, the number of jokes against Palin was 90, but hosts had to repeat them so she would understand the jokes.

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin put a tracking device on his black Labrador dog. Apparently, Putin had received several complaints because his dog was getting into Sarah Palin’s garbage.

Most newspapers in the country are endorsing Obama for the upcoming election. It must be hard for McCain and Palin, especially for Palin that reads them all.

Obama
Barack Obama attracted 100,000 people at a Saturday rally in Saint Louis, his biggest crowd ever at a U.S. event. Unfortunately for Obama, most of the attendees went to see if Joe the plumber would show up again.

Barack Obama attracted 100,000 people at a Saturday rally in Saint Louis, his biggest crowd ever at a U.S. event. They were mostly painters, roofers and laborers that wanted to ask him a question and get their chance for free publicity.

Economy
President Bush said Saturday he will host an international summit in response to the global financial crisis. Actually, we’re so poor now, that Bush will be the host, the valet parking guy, the cook, the waiter...

According to a Chicago-based consulting firm, during an economic crisis the sales of laxatives go up. Apparently that’s the only way to be able to dump out all the stocks you ate out of frustration when you saw the market collapse.

According to a recent study, in times of economic recession, people are physically healthier. Apparently, people need to be fit to fight for food and to run away from the cops after stealing.

A study says that stress from the economic crisis is affecting pets. The stress comes from the constant fight with their owners over the pet food.

Robocalls
John McCain’s robocalls against Obama have received bipartisan condemnation. To be fair with McCain, he’s not the only candidate making phone calls. Apparently, Ralph Nader has been calling homes all over the country, not to attack anybody, just to make money on the side as a telermarketer.

Cats
Cats name after McCain and Obama attended the New York cat show this weekend. The McCain cat had big chances to win the competition, but it kept hiding behind a pussy called Sarah.

Dogs
Researchers say the first dog lived 31,700 years ago. They came to that conclusion after analyzing some fossilized poo that was never picked up by the owner.

In the news
Police in Michigan arrested a man at a car wash for engaging in sexual acts with the vacuum. It wouldn’t have been considered prostitution, but the guy paid the quarter to activate the machine.