October 30th 2008

Happy birthday to Diego Maradona! (I'm very proud to share my birthday with him)

Palin
Sarah Palin hinted the media Wednesday that she might run as a presidential candidate in 2012. She already received the endorsement of Gucci, Balenciaga and Dolce & Gabbana

Vandals
The homes of many U.S. Congressman were vandalized with offensive messages on Tuesday. So far, the suspects are 98% of the country.

The homes of many U.S. Congressman were vandalized with offensive messages on Tuesday. Police believe President Bush is involved because the messages were written with crayons.

Obama
Barack Obama went on national television Wednesday night and aired a 30-minute infomercial. According to the Obama campaign, everything was great; they sold tons of Abs-masters, George Foreman Grills, and Extenze natural male enhancement products.

Barack Obama paid most of the big networks for a 30-minute campaign ad where he told America he is the solution for this country. After that, Networks continued with the same message, but for free.

A New Mexico newspaper has already proclaimed Barack Obama the winner. Obama’s fans in New Mexico were very happy until they saw that the paper also proclaimed the Rays the winners for the World Series.

Economy
A group of people prayed outside Wall Street Wednesday to help the economy, but the market still went down. Apparently, God was busy doing some short selling.

A group of people prayed outside Wall Street Wednesday to help the economy, but the market still went down. Apparently, God was busy helping Obama with his half hour especial.

Marriage
According to a new survey, the romance officially dies in a marriage after two years, six months and 25 days. After that, husbands try to give it CPR hopefully once or twice a week.

In the news
There’s a new online map, HookUpMaps.com, that will help you find a date in your neighborhood. Unfortunately, it is the same map used by the police to keep track of sex offenders.

Researchers in Sweden have found that on the Monday after Daylight Saving Time ends there are 5% fewer heart attacks, not this year though, because this year it would mean one more hour of political ads.

According to a recent study, prescription drugs cost more in poor neighborhoods, but just because rich people buy them in bulk.