November 3rd 2008

Elections
According to a recent study, more Republicans are afraid of losing the elections than Democrats. The evidence: most of the tickets to Canada booked after the elections are first class.

John McCain plans to barnstorm the country Monday with a final campaign push that will take him to seven states. Fortunately for him, he’ll be in bed very early on Tuesday and with plenty of time to rest after the 4th.

Starbucks is giving free coffee to people that voted on the 4th. I don’t think that give away is going to be popular among Republicans. Most of them don’t want to remain awake for at least another 4 years.

Starbucks, Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, and other companies are giving away their products to people that voted on the 4th. Voting day is that only time Americans feel like congressmen that got paid by lobbyist when they vote in Congress.

President Bush is said to be hiding from the media until the elections are over so he won’t hurt McCain’s chances. Apparently, he’s hiding where nobody expects him to be, at the White House library.

Palin
On Halloween, Sarah Palin took her kids trick-or-treating around her neighborhood. Her kids didn't do that well... Apparently, Russians aren't that generous.

Sarah Palin was pranked by a Canadian radio show that called her pretending to be the president of France. After McCain’s phone call offering her the VP position, she believes anything is possible.

McCain
Vice president Dick Cheney has endorsed John McCain. For Cheney that’s like shooting your face but without the hassle of going hunting.

Political analysts believe that senator McCain might have ruined his future with all the lies he’s spread in political ads throughout the entire campaign. Who is going to believe him after the elections when he tells you that Viagra works, or Pepsi is better than coke?

Obama
It was revealed that Obama has an aunt from Kenia that lives in the U.S. illegally. McCain was shocked that the story didn’t surface earlier, because he needed to hire somebody to clean his houses.

Senator Obama said that if her aunt disobeyed the laws for staying in this country as an illegal immigrant, he wouldn’t oppose deportation. It seems Obama can’t forget those bad Christmas presents and wet-kisses, cheek-grabbing moments through out his childhood.

In the news
A Chicago instructor taught driver's ed with a revoked license after 2 DUI convictions. Apparently, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Billy Joel were among his students.

According to researchers at Swinburne University of Technology in Australia, watching online pornography might make you depressed, especially if your boss catches you doing it at work.

A woman in Michigan didn’t give candies to kids that support Obama. Unfortunately, the media couldn’t get a hold of her the next day, because she was too busy scrubbing her home of tons and tons of eggs and smashed pumpkins.

A woman in Michigan didn’t give candies to kids that support Obama. It was the opposite of the Bradley effect; all the kids told her they liked McCain just for the candies, but if they could vote, they would go for Obama.

Gasoline prices continue to plummet. Is that safe? I don’t want gasoline at a accessible price right around the elections, especially when people’s feeling could be hurt.