December 3rd 2008

Economy
The Three Big Automakers went to congress to beg for money. Congress is concerned; if more CEO’s continue asking for money, Congress will be forced to bring in extra security for their 4:00 am bailout Friday opening to avoid any potential trampling like in Wal-Mart.

A Southern California calculus teacher says he's selling ad space on his test papers to make up for a cut in his supply budget. The prices vary according to the student’s score; ads are cheaper if you get an F, because the student won’t show it to anybody.

The National Bureau of Economic Research said Monday that the recession is one-year-old. I guess that makes leaving Bush a deadbeat dad then.

The National Bureau of Economic Research said Monday that the recession is one-year-old. If we’re the ones taking care of this baby, why is it that we’re paying child support to the parents Fannie May and Freddy Mac?

Politics
According to some papers, Michelle Obama is to receive a $30,000 ring from Obama for helping her husband win the election. I can’t imagine how expensive are the rings Obama will have to buy for president Bush and to Sarah Palin then.

Bill Clinton's been mentioned as a possible candidate to fill Hillary Clinton's seat. When Bill Clinton was told he could replace Hillary, he immediately asked: “for two of 20?”, until he was told it was to replace her as a senator.

President-elect Obama is allegedly buying a fancy $30,000 ring for his fancy wife. “No, Barack, you have to screw somebody first,” said Kobe Bryant.

In the news
According to a recent study, women who smoke have a life expectancy that's 14.5 years shorter than women who don't. Today, lines at Indian reservations got longer than ever with husbands buying their wives packs of cigarettes for Christmas.

The Supreme Court has ruled that obese people have the right to two seats for the price of one on flights within Canada. Next time I travel to Canada, I’m going to wear all the clothes I had in my luggage, so not only will I save money on extra bags, but also I will get en extra seat for free.

A person in Miami is helping homeless people illegally move into foreclosed homes. I have an idea: why don’t we let those people about to be kicked out of their homes stay there and we save this guy some time?