March 10th 2009

Britney Spears accidentally exposed her privates during a concert Sunday night in Tampa, Florida. Her manager was mad; you know how difficult it is going to be to sell first row tickets again?

Researchers say that TV shows aimed at toddlers do nothing to stimulate their minds. I knew that, so I bought my little 3-year-old a playstation and Grand Theft Auto III.

Happy birthday to Osama Bin Laden; he turns 52 today. He had a big cake, and blew 52 suicide bombers. Unfortunately, he didn't get many presents; most of them were sent to Obama by mistake. But you’re still in time; apparently he’s registered in TARGET.

A wide-ranging study on American religious life found that more Americans say they have no religion at all. The evidence is in Obama’s lower approval ratings.

A wide-ranging study on American religious life found that more Americans say they have no religion at all. Which is weird because every time most Americans check their 401(k) they say: “Oh God!”

GOP Rep. Patrick McHenry said Monday that the party’s goal is to bring down the approval numbers for Speaker Nancy Pelosi and for House Democrats. Democrats immediately responded that they don’t need Republicans; Pelosi is doing a fine job bringing her numbers down all by herself. But thanks for your help.

Rhianna is back in the recording studio preparing to record her next project. Apparently, she was to record as many song as possible, because if she continues living with Chris Brown, she wants to be ready to sell as many albums as 2Pac.

There's a nationwide shortage of nurses. Apparently, doctors complained they are tired of having sex with same ones.

The tongue of the chief coffee taster for a worldwide chain of coffee shops has been insured for almost $14 million. Still, not even close to what Ellen has paid to insure Portia’s tongue.

According to some doctors from the Cleveland Clinic, men who have sex three times a week are 50% less likely to suffer a stroke or a heart attack… unless your wife catches you doing it with the maid.