April 6th 2009

The pilot of US Airways, Flight 1549 threw out the ceremonial first pitch Saturday afternoon at the second game at the new Yankee Stadium. Unfortunately he killed two pigeons.

The pilot of US Airways, Flight 1549 threw out the ceremonial first pitch Saturday afternoon at the second game at the new Yankee Stadium. It went a little bit outside and landed in the water.

The movie Fast and Furious is the number one movie in America. And ironically that is exactly how people that go to see the movie, leave the movie theaters: Fast and Furious….

Gay marriage is now legal in Iowa . . . Now the tough part is to find gay people that want to go to Iowa.

According to the CDC, traces of a chemical used in rocket fuel were found in samples of baby powder formula. Just in case, parents were warned to do a countdown before the baby farts.

According to a local paparazzi, gunshots were fired at the wedding of Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen . That usually happens when you have Plaxico Burress as a guest.

According to local paparazzi, gunshots were fired at the wedding of Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen. Just fans celebrating when someone caught the bouquet.

A 46-year-old woman in South Africa lets wild animals like cheetahs and lions roam freely around her house. Her neighborhood is easy to spot; it is the one that has a mailman with no arms and one leg.

A 46-year-old woman in South Africa lets wild animals like cheetahs and lions roam freely around her house. Not a big deal, I know a young guy that lives surrounded by cougars.

A funeral home in South Carolina cut off the legs of a tall man so he'd fit inside a prepaid coffin. It is not big deal, the guy doesn’t need the legs anymore, he already kicked the bucket.

A study found that men are bigger gossipers than women, and you know what else, the guy that did the study is cheating on his wife with a chick that was dating his brother, who was the one that…..

Sex and the City 2" has been given a release date. Plenty of time for guys to find a way to fake an injury…

A Malawi court ruled on Friday that Madonna cannot adopt a 3-year-old child there. Apparently they vetted Madonna’s nannies and they were not fit to be good mothers.

A Malawi court ruled on Friday that Madonna cannot adopt a 3-year-old child there. Apparently Angelina Jolie pays better.

North Korea tested a long-range missile over the Pacific. This is the second time the missile landed in the water. Who is making them, Sully?

Law enforcement agencies want scientists to develop an artificial nose that can sniff out fear from people at airports. It won’t work, who isn’t afraid of flying in those old planes when you know already most of the pilots are drunk?

The Guiding Light" has been canceled by CBS after 72 straight years on radio and TV. They couldn’t compete anymore, there’s a much better plot in Sarah Palin’s family.

Doctors at the world-famous Karolinska Institute suspect that oral sex is to blame for the rise in tonsil cancer. This really sucks…

Doctors at the world-famous Karolinska Institute suspect that oral sex is to blame for the rise in tonsil cancer. It is not that bad; if they ban sucking maybe we won’t have to put up with another Rob Schenider’s movie.

Doctors at the world-famous Karolinska Institute suspect that oral sex is to blame for the rise in tonsil cancer. And if you thought it was hard to convince your wife before…

Unemployment reached 8.5 percent, the highest in a quarter-century. You can’t be surprised, even Obama is firing people now….

According to a new study from the University of Melbourne in Australia, workers who use the Internet for personal reasons at work are 9% more productive…of sperm.