June 17th 2009

Iran is using Twitter to update people on the election. Unfortunately, the 140 characters are enough to write half the name of any candidate.

The FDA says Zicam nasal spray can permanently damage your sense of smell. And today its sales in New Jersey skyrocketed.

The FDA says Zicam nasal spray can permanently damage your sense of smell. You’d better use it a lot if you’re planning to go and see “Land of the Lost” this weekend.

During an interview with CNBC, President Obama killed a fly. Now ultra-liberals are complaining because the bug didn’t have a fair trial first.

During an interview with CNBC, President Obama killed a fly. Rumors are the fly was around Obama because some of his economic policies stink.

During an interview with CNBC, President Obama killed a fly. Immediately after that, Cheney went to Fox and accused the president for missing the chance to torture the fly and find information about other bugs in America.

Miller-Coors is sending 8,000 cases of beer to troops in the Middle East to help them celebrate the Fourth of July. The Iraqi insertion is contributing with fireworks and bombs.

According to a recent survey, one in four women climax every time they do the deed. The other one didn’t meet me yet.

According to a recent survey, three in four men climax every time they do the deed. The other one had the TV with Susan Boyle on.

According to a new study, having a purpose in life can cut your risk of dying. My wife is going to live forever because her purpose in life is to make me miserable.

A Miami priest who left the Catholic Church married his girlfriend. How ironic is that? In 2 years, he’ll probably have as much sex as when he was celibate.

Republican Sen. John Ensign of Nevada admitted Tuesday he had an extramarital affair. It was the perfect time for politicians to announce any scandal, because after what happened with Palin, none of the Tonight Show hosts would dare joke about anything.