June 2nd 2009

GM filed for bankruptcy and now we, the taxpayers, own 60 percent of an unprofitable company. It is not that bad if you compare it to the 100 percent we own of a broken down company: the country.

Susan Boyle was admitted to a London clinic for exhaustion. Apparently, she couldn’t cope with the fame; she felt like a fish out of water, actually like the monster out of the Loch Ness.

Some GOP members believe their rhetoric against taxes is gaining some ground among young people. The example? Bruno tea bagging Eminem during the MTV Awards.

Former Vice President Dick Cheney says that he’s a Susan Boyle fan. Weird… I always thought Darth Vader hated Chewbacka.

According to a survey in England, students who have sex more than once a month tend to get lower grades... unless you are doing your teacher.

Bo, the White House dog, is drinking its water out of a non-spill bowl invented in England. Obama is so happy with it; he ordered a non-spill-the-beans bowl for Biden.

The husband of a woman that was called fat by two fitness promoters on the street called the police. Apparently, he was concerned for their safety.

A 25-year-old Egyptian man cut off his own penis to spite his family after he was refused permission to marry a girl from a lower class family. Not that he is not “well-endowed”, he might have a chance.

President Bush said that he hasn't watched the nightly news much since leaving office because it's too predictable. Unlike when he was the president that we never knew which country we were going to attack next.

Dick Chenney now supports gay marriage. Actually, he is pro-torture so he supports any kind of marriage.

Obama and his wife had a romantic dinner Saturday at a New York restaurant. You can imagine the president’s disappointment when he found out that the one touching his crotch with their feet under the table wasn’t Michelle, but Keith Olberman seating at a nearby table.