May 26th 2009

North Korea detonated a nuclear bomb yesterday during an underground test. Vice president Biden immediately released a statement saying that he and the president are safe in their new ultra-secret bunker located in the attic of the White House.

President Obama observed a moment of silence at 3 p.m. on Memorial Day. It must have been really tough for Biden to do the same… a moment of silence.

A Japanese company is printing horror stories on toilet paper. Actually a real horror story is when you are done with your business in the bathroom and you realized you have run out of paper.

A Japanese company is printing horror stories on toilet paper. What could be a better setting for a horror story than a Taco bell bathroom?

A small improvised explosive device detonated outside an Upper East Side Starbucks early Monday morning. Judging by the damage, the device must have been more like a venti.

A small improvised explosive device detonated outside an Upper East Side Starbucks early Monday morning. Damages are estimated in the thousands or the equivalent of two lattes.

The Cleveland Cavaliers have signed a multimillion dollar agreement with an investment group from China to sell part of the team and its arena. Today Clippers fans started cheaping in to offer money to the Chinese investors to take the Clippers to China.

North Korea tested a nuclear bomb around the town of Kilju. Iranians were the only ones really happy with the location chosen for the test… Kilju

Researchers found children born to 50-year-old fathers have a lower IQ than children born from young fathers. This just in: Larry King admitted to having a daughter… Paris Hilton.

Researchers found children born to 50-year-old fathers have a lower IQ than children born from young fathers. Actually, it is also probably the father who has a low IQ because in this economy you have to be really dumb to have a kid at the age of 50.

Germany is considering a nationwide ban on the high-energy drink Red Bull Cola after traces of cocaine were found in it. So when Red Bull was claiming they give you wings, they were not lying.

Adult movie star, Stormy Daniels announced Thursday she might be running for the US senate in Louisiana. She doesn’t hold any chances; she is still an amateur when it comes to screwing people compared to any senator.

Susan Boy made it to the Finals of Britains Got Talent. Producers of the show are considering inviting KSS for the final show to perform with Boyle, but just because with all the KISS make up on she wouldn't look that ugly....