May 15th 2009

Have a great weekend. Pedro

Nancy Pelosi reiterated during a press conference that she was not told about waterboarding. Republicans are doubting her and today they suggested that the best way to know if she’s telling the truth is waterboarding her.

Miss California, Carrie Prejean, will be a one-day guest host for Fox News Channel’s morning show Fox & Friends. She is perfect for that job, we all saw the pictures; her breasts are “Fair and Balance.”

Miss California, Carrie Prejean, will be a one-day guest host for Fox News Channel’s morning shows Fox & Friends. There could be a problem; her boobs will overshadow the other two boobs.

Kid Rock is releasing his own brand of light beer called "Badass Beer". Unfortunately, the beer tastes like its name.

A Springfield man was sentenced to serve 90 days in jail for shooting at his wife during sex. She was thankful though; at least the guy was shooting blanks.

A Springfield man was sentenced to serve 90 days in jail for shooting at his wife during sex. The judge has to be understanding; it happens to every man once in a while that during sex your gun goes off prematurely.

Pfizer is offering free drugs including Viagra to people who've lost their jobs. Unless I’m applying for a job in a porno movie, I don’t think it’ll help to show up to my job interview with an erection.

Pfizer is offering free drugs including Viagra to people who've lost their jobs. Because that’s exactly what I need… the tools to bring a kid to my poor family.

Pfizer is offering free drugs including Viagra to people who've lost their jobs. Funny, I just got laid off and now I’m looking to get laid.

Pfizer is offering free drugs including Viagra to people who've lost their jobs. Good, because I just got fired for sexual harassment.

A new study has found the air in Madrid and Barcelona has traces of cocaine. Today Amy Winehouse bought a “Rosetta Stone” and a one-way ticket to Spain.

A new study has found the air in Madrid and Barcelona has traces of cocaine. That’s why in Spain everybody hopes the wind blows.