May 5th 2009

The White House announced Friday that Joe Biden will travel to Bosnia, Herzegovina, Serbia and Kosovo. And you know Obama is crossing his fingers that Hillary’s stories of sniper fire in Bosnia were true.

The White House announced Friday that Joe Biden will travel to Bosnia, Herzegovina, Serbia and Kosovo. Biden was surprised and wanted to know who scheduled a trip to Bosnia on a boat that goes through the coast of Somalia.

Producers of American Idol are trying to get president Obama as a guest for one of the final episodes of the show. They have also been working on getting Joe Biden… to replace Paula Abdul…

According to British soldiers, the Taliban is using donkeys as suicide bombers. Apparently, after a request from lots of dissatisfied virgins.

According to British soldiers, the Taliban is using donkeys as suicide bombers to kill tons of innocent people. And today PETA released a statement to complaint the death of innocent donkeys.

The movie Wolverine didn’t get good reviews by movie critics. Apparently, they all thought the end was quite tacky, especially the part that the wolverine gets killed by Sarah Palin shooting from a helicopter.

Politicians are downplaying the swine flu saying that the media is blowing things out of proportion. It is easy for them to say; they won’t catch it, after all most of the politicians live in a bubble.

During the Oprah show, Kirstie Alley talked about how she gained all her weight back and said she would love to have Michelle Obama’s arms. Of course; with 4 arms she can eat a lot more at the buffet.

During the Oprah show, Kirstie Alley talked about how she gained all her weight back and said she would love to have Michelle Obama’s arms…. with potatoes and gravy.

Miley Cyrus told the Daily Mail that she wants to stay virgin until she gets married. Good luck trying to get backstage with Radiohead or any other band after that comment.

Joe Biden’s popularity increased immensely after the comments he made about the swine flu and the travel industry. He got 100 percent approval among comedians.

The White House had more than 60,000 fans on Facebook and more than 8,000 friends on MySpace within a few hours of the pages going online. They didn’t reject anybody, except Joe Biden, of course.

A Couple in England was caught having sex on the Queen's lawn and filmed. Apparently, they misunderstood the queen; she was screaming GET OFF my lawn, not GET OFF ON my lawn.

A Couple in England was caught having sex on the Queen's lawn and filmed by Japanese tourists. Finally something interesting the queen can load in the i-Pod she got from Obama.

A 50-year old Saudi man has agreed to divorce his 9-year-old bride. He complained she was ignoring him because she was too much into toys.

A 50-year old Saudi man has agreed to divorce his 9-year-old bride. Apparently, he suspected she was cheating on him the day he discovered she had the cooties.

London has launched an audacious bid to stage the Super Bowl within the next eight years. Everybody in America was outraged, except Detroit Lions fans; they know they won’t be playing it….

A group of prominent Republicans launched a listening tour Saturday. Apparently, they go to every town in America, turn on the radio and listen to what Rush has to say.

A pilot in Tacoma Washington crash landed into a lot full of portable toilets and survived. Holy crap!

A pilot in Tacoma Washington crash landed into a lot full of portable toilets and survived. Fortunately, Larry Craig and the guy in the stall next to him only had minor injuries.

Pope Benedict XVI has announced five new saints. Can somebody please tell Keith Olberman that Obama cannot be considered a Saint until he dies?