April 23rd 2009

After the controversy generated during the Miss America Pageant, Miss California, has been interviewed numerous times by Fox News. In case you get confused, she is the blond, with big boobs and no brains, and the Fox reporter is the blonde, with big boobs and no brains.

After the controversy generated during the Miss America Pageant, Miss California, has been interviewed numerous times by Fox News. In case you get confused, she is the blond, with big boobs and no brains and Sean Hannity is just the big boob.

A resolution has been introduced in the Alabama House that praises Miss California, Carrie Prejean, for speaking out against gay marriage during Sunday night’s televised pageant. She shouldn’t be that proud; in 2007, they also passed a resolution to praise Miss South Carolina.

Britain’s Got Talent has found another internet sensation. First it was Susan Boyle and now is a 12-year-old kid who sings amazingly. Today, Michael Jackson called the producers to ask if the kid had already been kissed, because he is willing to help.

It was revealed by the British media that Susan Boyle had been kissed in the past. Apparently, many people mistook her for a frog in their quest to find a princess.

Susan Boyle’s video has surpassed the number of views that Obama’s Inauguration video had. Obama is planning a comeback to regain the lead, today he asked Janet Reno if she could sing.

ABC is reviving "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" this summer, complete with host Regis Philbin. Things have changed; the economy is so now bad that now when you call friend, producers want you to call collect.

U.S. researchers said on Wednesday that chewing gum may boost academic performance in teenagers. Apparently, when students see the disgusting mess janitors have to clean under the chairs and tables, they feel like improving themselves.

U.S. researchers said on Wednesday that chewing gum may boost academic performance in teenagers. Apparently, students write cheat sheets in the bubble gum’s wrapping paper.

Larry King wished happy Earth Day to everybody on twitter. It was really meaningful for him, especially because he was there when the Earth was created.

Celebrities and Politicians decided to conserve energy Wednesday to honor Earth Day. For example, Biden unplugged his hair plugs, Britney unplugged her mic during a concert, and Paris Hilton used a solar-powered sex toy.

President Obama planted a tree to honor Earth Day. It was probably an oak tree, so he can get as many ACORNs as he wants…

A group of eighth graders in Alaska taunted a moose so viciously that it threw itself into a wall until it died. “That’s my daughter!” said Sarah Palin.

A man in Medford, Oregon, is suing for $2.7 million because he got hit in the head with a discus while photographing a track meet. Ironically, he’s been forced to wear a helmet now, but it is already too late.