April 16th 2009

Everybody in the media is fascinated with Obama’s new pooch. I don’t want to say some people are getting jealous in the Obama administration, but today Obama farted and Biden jumped to take the blame.

According to some media rumors Angelina Jolie is pregnant again. And today somebody saw Octomom walking into a sperm bank with a huge bucket.

Nadya Suleman has applied to patent the word "Octomom". Please tell me she won’t apply to patent the words: “Nonamom, decamom etc…”

Few people gathered in Washington DC for the anti-tax “Tea Party”. Unfortunately for the president, most of the people that did gather were members of his cabinet.

President Obama will be getting a $26,000 refund from the federal government. But just because he has many co-dependants: Sasha, Malia, and Joe Biden.

Jenna Jameson was spotted yesterday outside the hospital breastfeeding her new babies. I don’t want to say the babies are pros already, but they looked at the cameras and winked.

Jenna Jameson was spotted yesterday outside the hospital breastfeeding her new babies. Apparently, Jenna encouraged the paparazzis to take pictures because the babies wouldn’t start sucking until they saw the cameras.

According to a new study from Bucknell University, men have trouble picking it up when women use subtle "hints" with them. So ladies, if you want to succeed with us, resort to crotch grabbing.

A study from the University of Texas found that workers who constantly compliment the boss, do personal favors for the boss, and never challenge the boss's ideas, are 64% more likely to be promoted. And 100% more likely to get beaten up by their other co-workers.

Jim Carrey said yesterday that he’s gaining 50 pounds to play Curly in the movie three stooges. Can somebody tell Kevin Federline to stop eating? He’ll never get the part.

According to the "Hollywood Reporter," Michael Vick is working on a deal to do a TV show after he serves his prison sentence. The name is not confirmed but rumors are the show is going to be called “Slam-dogs Millionaire.”

A Web site said its latest survey found 33 percent of respondents chose entrepreneur Donald Trump as the celebrity they would most like to do taxes for. The other 77 percent chose Wesley Snipes.

The economy is so bad I spent most of my Sunday mending used condoms so I can reuse them next time I get lucky.

According to a new study, one out of every five lawyers is an alcoholic. Apparently, they don’t spend much time in the American Bar Association, but at another bar.

Eddie Van Halen is now offering the new EVH Brand Signature Striped Sneakers. Unfortunately the sneakers come without a tongue.

R&B singer Rihanna is working on a stage show in the Middle East. Because, if there’s a region that cares about abused women, that is the Middle East.

R&B singer Rihanna is working on a stage show in the Middle East. She wants to start there because the burka will help cover her bruises.

Sen. Richard Burr encouraged people withdrawing all the cash they could from their banks and carry it with them. His words got immediate support from all the muggers and thieves in the country.