April 28th 2009

The Defense Department caused panic among New Yorkers yesterday when they sent a jumbo jet chased by an F-16 fighter in lower Manhattan as a part of photo session. Hopefully, after this bad attempt, the government will botch the other photo session ideas: drilling a hole in the levies of New Orleans or unscrewing some bolts of a bridge in Minnesota.

The Defense Department caused panic among New Yorkers yesterday when they sent a jumbo jet chased by an F-16 fighter in lower Manhattan as a part of photo session. And then Democrats don’t want to be accused of being big spenders, haven’t they heard of Photoshop?

The summer wedding for the accused "Craigslist Killer" has been cancelled. Don’t worry; he’ll become somebody’s wife in jail.

Simon Cowell says a couple once offered him $150,000 to critique their sex. Unfortunately for Simon, the couple was Ryan Seacrest and Klay Aken.

Fox became the first broadcast network to turn down a request by President Barack Obama for time, opting to show its drama "Lie to Me." Apparently “Lie to Me” is exactly what the Fox audience wants.

According to the Center for Media and Public Affairs, only 1 in 8 comments about president Obama were favorable in Fox News since he became our president. Why do you think they fired Colmes…?

According to the Center for Media and Public Affairs, only 1 in 8 comments about president Obama were favorable in Fox News since he became our president. And the one that was positive said: “I like Obama….. to fail.”

The Mexico City premiere of the new "Wolverine" movie has been postponed due to swine flu. Not to worry; most Mexicans already saw the pirated version of the movie.

A disc that can store almost 100 DVD’s has been unveiled by General Electric… still not enough space to fit all the movies Seth Rogen shot last year.

The Detroit Lions signed Georgia's Matthew Stafford to a seventy-eight million dollar deal for six years. It is not that he is such a great player, but that is the only amount of money that can convince somebody to play for the Lions and live in Detroit.