May 21st 2009

Big shocker; last night at American Idol, someone wore more make up than Ryan Seacrest and Adam Lambert! KISS…

During the last show of American Idol, bikini girl -the contestant that auditioned in a bikini- made an appearance with new breast implants. Still, not as big as Simon Cowell’s...

Rush Limbaugh said during his show that he has quit as the head of the GOP. No sign yet of him quitting pies, fried chicken, and cakes…

Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh challenged MSNBC on Tuesday to go 30 days without mentioning his name on television. MSNBC retaliated by saying they’ll do that if Rush promises to exercise for 30 days…

A professor says he has designed a test to predict if a child is at risk of joining a gang. You tell your kid he can’t go out with his friend and if he shoots you, he’s in a gang.

Cher turned 63 yesterday. Actually her ID did, the rest of her body is way younger…

Sheriff's deputies in Arkansas said a man used horse tranquilizers to try to drift off into sleep at a Batesville motel. Apparently, the hotel cable didn’t have NBC.

The media in Canada is pointing out that the ceremonial torch for the 2010 Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver resembles a hand-rolled marijuana joint. And today Michael Phelps announced he is taking curling lessons to try to make it into the US Olympic team.

The media in Canada is pointing out that the ceremonial torch for the 2010 Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver resembles a hand-rolled marijuana joint. So there’s no chance the flame is going to extinguish, everybody in Canada will keep it lit throughout the entire competition.

President Barack Obama and Dick Cheney both had speeches about terrorism and interrogating tactics today and almost at the same time. I don’t want to say people were bored, but some of them needed to be waterboarded just to wake up.

President Barack Obama and Dick Cheney both had speeches about terrorism and interrogating tactics today and almost at the same time. It felt like torture.

Republicans want to slow down a climate bill by reading its 946 pages out loud, so the democrats hired a speed reader that can read an entire page in just 34 seconds. Apparently, they hired the guy that reads the disclaimer with the side effects of pharmaceuticals on TV.

A court in California ruled it's okay for private schools to expel lesbians. Miss California said public schools should also be able to expel lesbians; it is not that difficult L.E.S.B.I.A.N.S…

The owner of the Pepsi Center in Denver booked a WWE event for Monday, the same day the Denver Nuggets are playing a playoff game. It is not a big deal; with all the injury faking and theatrics that Kobe has been doing lately and the slanted referees, people won’t notice the difference.

Astronauts aboard the space station drunk Wednesday water that had been recycled from their urine, and claimed it tasted great… “I have been saying this for years,” said R Kelly…

Astronauts aboard the space station drunk Wednesday water that had been recycled from their urine, and claimed it tastes great. Except for the guy that had asparagus for dinner.

Michael Vick wants to work with the Humane Society of the United States on a program aimed at eradicating dog-fighting among urban teens. Apparently, dog-fighting is only for adults.

Michael Vick is out of prison and headed home and hopeful for a second chance as a star NFL quarterback. But with all the practice he had in jail, wide receiver sounds like a more suitable position for him.