May 19th 2009

Michael Steele spoke before RNC officials on Tuesday and called for an end to the “era of apologizing” in the GOP. Later he apologized to Rush Limbaugh for scheduling the speech at the same time of his show.

Michael Steele said the GOP should copy Reagan and move forward because Ronald Reagan never lived in the past. Of course Reagan never lived in the past; he had Alzheimer and didn’t remember a thing.

On Saturday, President Obama went to Malia and Sasha’s soccer game. Both daughters’ teams had easy victories, because, of course, if you’re the ref in any of those games, you are not going to dare make a call against Obama’s daughters’ teams with ten huge CIA security guards looking at you on the sidelines and Guantanamo still open.

President Obama wants to stop the release of a number of photos that show abuse of Iraqi detainees by U.S. military personnel. But if you received some of the Christmas cards Cheney has been sending in the last couple of years you probably already saw some of those pictures.

Vice president Joe Biden divulged the location of a secret bunker in Washington used by the vice president in the event of an emergency. He is screwed; now Obama and the Democrats know what to bomb first in case he continues making gaffes.

According to a new survey one in four moms say they're having less sex because of the economy. The other three, just the opposite, way more sex, because that’s the only way they can get some money to pay the bills.

According to a survey, the thing that frustrates British people the most is people who cut in line, unless the line is for the dentist, of course...

A 66-year-old British woman is set to become the world's oldest mom. The doctor recommended baby formula for the baby, because her milk might have passed its expiration date.

A man in Brunswick, Georgia, is offering free bus tickets out of town to prostitutes. And today Eliot Spitzer announced he’s willing to split the cost if he sends the hookers his way.

A 78-year-old woman arrested last month for allegedly beating her 84-year-old husband because she believed he cheated on her several times during their marriage. Apparently, she found another woman’s denture in her husband’s pocket.

A 78-year-old woman arrested last month for allegedly beating her 84-year-old husband because she believed he cheated on her several times during their marriage. Apparently, she found some paintings of her husband making out with another woman.

The Belgian bodybuilding championship has been canceled after doping officials showed up and all the competitors fled. I have always said it; those bodybuilders have no testicles.

The Belgian bodybuilding championship has been canceled after doping officials showed up and all the competitors fled. Last time they saw them running away in panic that fast was when a hot naked chick walked into the locker room.

Privacy advocates want to suspend the use of "whole-body imaging," the airport security technology that critics say produces "naked" pictures of passengers. Apparently, they are concerned it can ruin your future if you want to enter the Miss America beauty pageant.

A woman in Marysville, Ohio was arrested for having sex in a car while her kids were in the backseat. Well, somebody needed to hold the camera…

A woman in Marysville, Ohio was arrested for having sex in a car while her kids were in the backseat. At least we know it wasn’t Britney, because in that case the kids would have been in the front seat, driving.