May 27th 2009

Some conservative pundits jumped quickly yesterday to criticize Obama’s pick for the Supreme Court. Some of them were not even well informed, like those who were saying that Sotomayor isn't hitting for average and has a low on base percentage this season.

Sonia Sotomayor, Obama’s pick for the Supreme Court has diabetes type one. And today the GOP immediately sent a huge basket of candy and a membership in the donut of the month club.

Adam Lambert may become the new singer of Queen but certainly not the last singing Queen….

Beyoncé has a picture of an Oscar in her gym to keep her motivated. Meanwhile, Kistey Alley also has a picture of an Oscar in her room to keep her motivated, of an Oscar Meyer sausage.

The California Supreme Court upheld the same-sex marriage ban and infuriated gays all over the country. So you’d better unscheduled your appointment with your hairdresser today, unless you want to look like Kim Jong-il.

Detroit was rated as one of the least-fit cities in the U.S. Apparently, the survey was done among its football players.

Detroit was rated as one of the least-fit cities in the U.S., which is weird because you’d expect that with all the running to avoid being shot at you would get fit.

North Korea fired off three short range missiles yesterday. Kim Jong-il knows that if some of the missiles have long range, most North Koreans would try to get on top of the missiles and get the heck out of the country.

According to a company called Information Resources Inc., the recession is causing people to have more sex. I guess we got to do what we got to do to pay the bills, right?

A fourth-grade teacher in New Orleans ate 16 worms yesterday, one for each student who passed a standardized state test. Not so cute; the worms were at the bottom of the tequila bottles that she and the 4th grade students drunk to celebrate their achievement.

The DMV has made it illegal for people to smile in their driver's license photos in the states of Nevada, Indiana, Arkansas and Virginia. It is not like you’re going to notice the difference; most of them have no teeth to show.

Al Pacino is in talks to star in an HBO TV movie about assisted suicide doctor Jack Kevorkian. He’s perfect for that role, because judging by the movies he’s been in lately, you feel like you want to commit suicide.