June 3rd 2009

According to a new survey, 72% of baby boomers think they can hear. Unfortunately for them, the question was if they liked pie.

The head writer of "The MTV Movie Awards" said that the Bruno / Eminem incident was fake. Actually, Eminem loved Bruno’s butt on his face.

A Maserati driven by Lindsay Lohan is on eBay for $25,000. The car is probably worth $10,000 the rest is in the glove compartment.

A Maserati driven by Lindsay Lohan is on eBay for $25,000. You’d better have a dog every time you drive that car, because cats go crazy with the smell.

A Washington state man has been sentenced to 30 days in jail for having sex with dogs. And Michael Vick is free, I know; apparently, you cannot be a lover; you have to be a fighter in this society.

Kim Jong-il has anointed his 26-year-old son, Kim Jong-un, to take over for him. The new leader said he has prepared himself for this position since he was born and found out his father was Il.

New research reveals that happiness has nothing to do with wealth or good looks. That was what Angelina Jolie told the kids she didn’t pick in Africa when she adopted one.

Republican Rick Santorum said that Obama should have taken his wife around the corner for a beer or a shot instead of taking her to a Broadway play and a fancy restaurant in New York, because “it doesn’t matter where you go with your wife, is that it's with your wife.” Apparently, for Santorum you only take your mistress to fancy trips.

The South Carolina funeral board has revoked the licenses of a funeral home and its director for cutting the legs of a 6-foot-7 man so his corpse would fit in a casket. The director apologized and said that next time he will cut the head.

The South Carolina funeral board has revoked the licenses of a funeral home and its director for cutting the legs of a 6-foot-7 man so his corpse would fit in a casket. The director plans to use his free time on his favorite hobby: Magic.

The South Carolina funeral board has revoked the licenses of a funeral home and its director for cutting the legs of a 6-foot-7 man so his corpse would fit in a casket. The director claimed that the feet were useless; the guy didn’t need the feet anymore; he had already kicked the bucket.

Russia held its Miss Atom 2009 beauty pageant this week with women that work for the Russian nuclear industry. And as predicted, Miss Chernobyl finished last.

A Chinese company is buying the hummer brand. The car will be a hit in China as most men need to compensate.

There's a family in Wisconsin made up entirely of sex offenders. The house is easy to recognize; it is the one with tons of coins on the floor, that nobody in the family dares pick up.

Nancy Reagan says that she still sees Ronald when she wakes up at night. But then she goes back to sleep when she finds out that what she sees is another Republican trying her husband’s clothes on to run for 2012.