June 30th 2009

Dentists say a failure to brush and floss is bad for your long-term memory. Maybe that’s why the British act so pompous among us, forgetting we kicked their ass in the war.

A couple of guys from the UK have invented a clock which literally runs on dead bugs. Obama already installed one in the White House and feeds it flies all the time.

Michael Jackson's mother Katherine has been granted temporary guardianship of his kids. And today Joe bought a new set of belts.

According to a recent study, one in four people can't spell the word "February". The other three are subscribed to Playboy.

Michael jackson's mother Katherine was granted temporary custody of Michael's three children . Expect a new reality show: Joe & Kate plus 7… Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon and the three new ones.

Pitchman Billy Mays didn’t die from a head trauma. Apparently it was just intoxication from the fumes of so much “Just for Men”

Abigail Breslin, the little girl from “Little Miss Sunshine”, had her allowance raised from $1 to $13 per week. Already $2 higher than Billy Ray Cyrus’.

President Obama was interrupted by a ringtone with the sound of a duck during a speech. How lucky this person was Dick Cheney was not there or he would have shot his ass.

The annual BET Awards aired Sunday. It was mostly a tribute to Michael Jackson, and during the commercials a tribute to Billy Mays.

A 5-year-old boy was the only survivor of a plane crash off the coast of the island nation of Comoros. Apparently the kid was going to do anything he could to avoid Michael Jackson.

Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and now Billy Mays died. Gee I didn’t know we needed some many celebrities dying to finally stop talking about Jon & Kate.