July 20th 2009

Economic advisor Larry Summers believes that the economy is doing better because a google search for "economic depression" brings in fewer hits than before. Immediately after those comments, the number of hits for “Larry Summers is a douche” went to the roof.

Economic advisor Larry Summers believes that the economy is doing better because a google search for "economic depression" brings in fewer hits than before. Has he thought that maybe people are so poor they can’t afford internet anymore?

Construction of new U.S. homes rose in June to the highest level in seven months. Analysts believe the growth will continue as long as politicians keep getting kicked out of their homes for cheating on their wives.

According to Vatican sources, Pope Benedict XVI has broken his wrist in a fall in the Alps. Yeah, don’t tell me he also claimed he went hiking.

Pope Benedict XVI has broken his wrist after slipping and falling in his bedroom, which is a more honorable excuse than admitting it happened when he tried to fist-bump Michelle Obama.

Pope Benedict XVI has broken his wrist and won’t be able to write for a while… a blessing in disguise for the Vatican that now has an excuse to avoid writing settlement checks for some time.

The famed hot dog's Wienermobile crashed into a house in Wisconsin. It is not a big deal; this is not the first time a wiener has wrecked a home.

The famed hot dog's Wienermobile crashed into a house in Wisconsin. You know that that whore of a house was asking for it.

The nation's first double hand transplant patient is doing fine but still can’t have feeling in his hands. You mean he doesn’t have to sit on them before he takes care of himself? Lucky bastard!

The nation's first double hand transplant patient is doing fine but still can’t have feeling in his hands. So when he puts his hands in his pockets he feels what everybody else feels… nothing

The nation's first double hand transplant patient talked to the media to say he is doing fine. Question: Now that he has another man’s hands, is it gay for him to play with himself?

A thief left a note complimenting the taste of music of the person he stole the car from. Police immediately started looking for the suspect at gay bars because the car owner only had Lady Gaga CDs.

During a discussion with Rachel Maddow, Pat Buchanan said that white people built this country. Apparently, they built this country on Rock & Roll.

During a discussion with Rachel Maddow, Pat Buchanan said that white people built this country. So my grandpa was right, those slaves were slackers.