July 27th 2009

Mexico beat the US soccer national team 5-0. Apparently the US national team was formed by border patrol officers and that’s why they couldn’t stop any of the Mexican players.

North Korea opened its first fast-food restaurant. The menu consists only of very fast greyhound dogs.

Scholar Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Cambridge Police Sgt. James Crowley are going to have a beer at the White House. And you know that after they leave the White House the cop is going to arrest the professor for DUI.

Sarah Palin said that people should leave the kids of the new governor of Alaska alone. Did you hear that Levi? Don’t even think of touching his daughter.

Traces of an erectile dysfunction drug were found in the system of a teen who died at a house party. They’d better call the doctor because he is going to be stiff for more than four hours.

Saudi Arabia chose its Miss moral beauty queen, a contest where women don’t even need to show their faces. Apparently, during the talent competition the winner showed her skills at not driving.

Saudi Arabia chose its Miss moral beauty queen . She probably won because she went to bed with the judges.

A 77-year-old man underwent a sex change operation. Apparently, he was tired of wetting his shoes, every time he went to the urinals.

A 77-year-old man underwent a sex change operation. I don’t think Chastiti Bono, wants to use the remaining of this old guy.

Some parents in Delray Beach, Fla., have complained about a bronze sculpture of a nude family at a shopping plaza near an elementary school. Apparently, fathers were tired that children comparing their daddy’s sizes.

A recent survey found that 18% of women would break up with their partners if they got chubby. And almost all of them would break with their men if they never got a chubby.

During the weekend, Alaskans had a three day picnic with Sarah Palin, an annual tradition for Alaska governors. They played tons of games, but nobody wanted to play with Palin because she would quit in the middle of the game.

During the weekend, Alaskans had a three day picnic with Sarah Palin, an annual tradition for Alaska governors. Food must have not been enough, because people were heard saying Palin was one sandwich short of a picnic.

According to Nielsen's latest look at online viewing habits, one in three porno website viewers are women. So it is not that I always forget to erase the internet history.