July 28th 2009

Jon and Kate Gosselin may have actually split in 2008. They didn’t say anything before because they don’t like media exposure.

Scientists have found that evolution is driving women to become ever more beautiful, because beautiful women have more children. Unfortunately, Octomom just debunked the work of an entire science team.

Scientists have found that evolution is driving women to become ever more beautiful, because beautiful women have more children. I guess the study wasn’t done in the set of The View.

Scientists have found that evolution is driving women to become ever more beautiful, because beautiful women have more children. Actually, it is not that women are becoming more beautiful, it’s that evolution is making beer more accessible to men.

An Illinois man was accused of stealing more than $45,000 worth of eyeglasses from suburban Milwaukee stores. The police caught him, especially because he lost the cane during the robbery and wandered around for hours trying to find the door.

A Taser stun gun, capable of shocking three people without being reloaded, was unveiled Monday. And you know that those cops in Cambridge ran towards Harvard to find black professors to test it.

A group of Michael Jackson fans have launched a campaign to nominate the King of Pop for the Nobel Peace Prize. Well deserved; he took most of drugs off the streets and injected them in his body.

A group of Michael Jackson fans have launched a campaign to nominate the King of Pop for the Nobel Peace Prize. Sorry… a misspelling… the NAMBLA Piece Prize.

A group of Michael Jackson fans have launched a campaign to nominate the King of Pop for the Nobel Peace Prize. He’s done a lot for the kids’ safety, especially after he died.

According to sources familiar with the Senate, cosmetic surgery procedures which are considered unnecessary for medical purposes could be hit with a new tax. What are Pelosi’s detractors going to say now? She, herself, may save the entire economy.

According to sources familiar with the Senate, cosmetic surgery procedures which are considered unnecessary for medical purposes could be hit with a new tax. So Kate Gosselin is safe, because her plastic surgery wasn’t unnecessary.

The Gay Olympics are taking place in Denmark. The Olympic torch was never that safe with so many flames around.


Bill Clinton spoke at the first annual "Weight of the Nation" conference in Washington, D.C., which is an obesity prevention event. The former president begged the organizers to leave his dates alone.

A 70-foot whale had to be removed from the bow of a cruise ship in Vancouver, British Columbia… and was served later in the sea food section of the cruise buffet.