August 4th 2009

There's a new bikini that dissolves in water. Or you can just go swimming in the Hudson River wearing any bikini.

President Obama turns 48 today. And as a present, all the members of his administration made a new fake birth certificate that says he is only 44.

Rush Limbaugh has not revealed the secret of the diet that helped him lose 90 Lbs. But everybody suspects it has to do with the fact that the drug store where he gets his prescriptions just moved 2 blocks away from his home.

The Obama administration believes “Cash for Clunkers” is a total success because it helped car dealers sell more than 250,000 new cars. Obama is shooting himself in his foot; with more cars on the streets, traffic will be slower and that will give people more chances to listen to Rush.

Car dealers sold more than 250,000 cars thanks to Cash for Clunkers. The good thing for Obama is that if this plan fails to improve the economy, people at least will have a new car to live in.

President Obama denied rumors that he is going to tax the middle class. He said that that is impossible because there’s no middle class anymore.

Police in Las Vegas say a tamed tiger that escaped from a magic act has been captured. They found it at the casting of “The Hangover 2.”

Police in Las Vegas say a tamed tiger that escaped from a magic act has been captured. Police is waiting for the tiger to move its bowels to see if it ate what’s left of Roy.

A man in Tokyo stabbed a young woman that works at an ear-cleaning salon. Apparently, he blamed her for having his ears cleaned for the first time and discovering how annoying his wife sounds.

US President Barack Obama is the target of more than 30 potential death threats a day… and that just coming from Hillary Clinton.

According to tax lien records posted online, Murfreesboro tea party organizer Christian Hidalgo owes thousands of dollars in unpaid taxes. And today he received an offer to work for the Obama administration and to shoot a sequel of the movie Blade.

Bill Clinton is visiting North Korea on a surprise mission to bring home two jailed American journalists… and then to try to nail them.

Bill Clinton is visiting North Korea on a surprise mission to bring home two jailed American journalists. The media spotted him at a bar trying to pick up chicks with a new line… “Hey, if you thought Kim John Il’s missile was big, wait to see mine!”

The number of Americans on anti-depressants has reached 27 million. The numbers started to grow significantly since The View had its debut on TV.

A toy company in Spain has introduced a new doll that little girls can breastfeed. And if you aren’t appalled by this yet, wait to see the dolls that come with Gary Glitter’s face.